


To Be With You

by thesewarmstars



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Snow Cake - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Mental Health Issues, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-20
Updated: 2009-09-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 12:47:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1649132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesewarmstars/pseuds/thesewarmstars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the Alan Rickman Film and Ficlet Fest at <a href="http://groups.yahoo.com/group/severussighs/">Severus Sighs</a>.</p>
<p><b>Movie:</b> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snow_Cake">Snow Cake</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Be With You

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to atypicalsnowman for beta-reading.

Severus would never have thought it could turn out this way. 

That, after ten years in Azkaban, the first wizard he ran into would be James Potter. Still adjusting to an existence with sunlight and warm food and clear water, he was caught off-guard by the chatty teenager who followed him around Diagon Alley like some sort of puppy. And then, not four hours later, just as he was finally beginning to acclimate to human conversation, the boy had been killed. Just like that, walking out of the Leaky Cauldron, he’d stepped in front of a bus and died.

And so he found himself seeking out Harry Potter, to somehow apologize for letting his child die, for failing once more, and to deliver the trinket James had bought for him just minutes before his death. He had no idea what a man of thirty-six might want a child’s toy for, but James had wanted him to have it and that was enough.

He was even more shocked to find Potter… changed. A woman wandered over from the house next door and tried to explain, and Severus had a hard time keeping his jaw from falling open. He was hurt, she said, in St. Mungo’s for weeks, immobile. A clot in his leg that moved to his brain and, just like that, Harry Potter had a stroke. His wife had left, she said, took the children, but James had come back last year to care for his father.

And now he was dead.

When Severus knocked on Harry’s door and apologized, Harry tilted his head to the side and asked, “Did you do it on purpose?” Then, a moment later, “What’s your name?”

Severus was at a loss. This was not the Potter he remembered, not remotely. But he had lost his son, his only caretaker, and Severus was responsible. The only thing he knew to do, the only thing he could do, was linger a while and make sure he would be all right. Potter deserved that much.

So Severus stayed, just for a few days. Just long enough for them to bury James, to make sure Potter was dealing with his son’s death.

He learned the rules quickly: never touch Potter’s things; never, ever go in the kitchen; never muck up the snow in the garden. He had to be careful not to move anything from its place, because even if Harry saw Severus hang his cloak in the closet, he would forget it in a moment and not be able to find it. He had to constantly remind Potter what they were preparing for, that James had died and they were going to his funeral. Potter would marvel that Severus had been released so soon, that Severus was there in his house.

After a couple of days, though, Potter seemed to acclimate to his presence. One morning he greeted Severus without asking his name first, and offered him a handful of freshly fallen snow in lieu of after-lunch pudding. Severus deemed it progress.

He considered that he might have to rethink that appellation when Potter crawled into bed with him that night. When Severus gaped and asked him just what he thought he was doing, Potter furrowed his brow and said, “Don’t you think I’m handsome? I rather fancy you,” then cuddled against him and fell asleep.

The morning of the funeral, Potter woke him with a kiss and Severus found himself responding before he was fully conscious. Just after they got out of bed, Potter kissed him again, then scrunched up his face and said, “I’m sorry – did I already do that?”

Severus tried to coax him into a suit, but Potter refused to wear anything besides the trousers and jumper labeled ‘Thursday’. It was just as well, since he spent most of the funeral off to the side, catching snowflakes on his tongue.

After everyone had gone and they were back at Potter’s house, Severus reminded him that he had to leave.

“What?” Potter asked, “Why?”

“I told you, I must speak with my solicitor.”

“But you said you’d put out the rubbish tomorrow. I don’t do rubbish.”

“I’m certain your neighbor would be perfectly willing…”

“I don’t like her.”

Severus sighed. “I’m sorry, but I must go.”

“But…” Potter trailed off, frowning. “You’re here now, with me.” A moment later, his expression filled with pain. “Oh. You’re leaving me, S-Sc… erm. Severus? I thought… I’m sorry! I’ll try to be better.”

Severus felt his heart clench at Potter’s pleading look, but what could he do? He couldn’t just stay, take up with this man who was so impaired. He would be taking advantage… Wouldn’t he?

“You don’t love me,” Potter said, wrapping his arms around his chest. “It’s okay. I understand."

“No!” Severus shouted, surprising himself with his vehemence. “That’s not… It’s… You deserve better, more than I can give you.” He rolled up his sleeve, exposing the Mark. “Do you remember this?”

“I don’t know why you’re so hung up about that. I know you’re good – Jamie obviously liked you, and you brought me his present. You’re beautiful, even with the skull.”

There was a moment of silence, then Potter looked at him again. Tilting his head to the side, he asked, “Are you leaving? You said you’d do the rubbish.”

Severus shut his eyes tight for a couple of seconds, then gave his head a shake. “No. Well, yes. I am leaving, but I’m coming back.”

“Coming back. To be with me?”

“Yes, Harry,” he said, surprising himself once more. “To be with you.”


End file.
